PhiLOLsophy: Your Hilarious Online Comment

PhiLOLsophy: Your Hilarious Online Comment

by Rob Cottignies

You are so funny.

How do I know this? Because you made yourself laugh. Out loud.

At best, I can only make myself snicker after saying something hilarious.

But you…

Forgetting that your social media comment was not funny at all, the fact that it made you LAUGH OUT LOUD is extraordinary.

How do I know you were laughing out loud? Your mild comment was followed by an L, an O, then a second L.

It is honestly surprising you were able to type the comment at all. When I laugh out loud, I am rendered powerless to do much of anything else.

But you are special.

The skill involved to think of something that made you laugh out loud, type that thing, then inform everybody you were laughing out loud, all while laughing out loud, in simply uncanny.

Your hilarious comment is going to revolutionize comedy.

You should really try stand-up. You must be the funniest person in your cubicle. Go to an open mic night and spew out your insufferably humorous jokes. Make sure your co-workers go because they all think your office antics are unmatchable. Except Nancy, but she has no sense of humor, right?

Wrong.

Make sure your parents see the performance, too. They are sure to hate how much money they wasted on your poli-sci degree when they could have instead sent you to clown college. That will make up for them telling you Goldie moved to London when they actually flushed him down the toilet.

How will you refrain from laughing out loud at each extremely funny joke during your routine?

I hope you are able to tell more than one joke. The first one is sure to be a whopper so I would not be surprised if you (and the audience) laugh out loud for the remainder of the set.

Come to think of it- You already have that first joke written! Simply throw in some context, read the comment you typed, and the audience will be in stitches.

Stitches, I tell you.

Your radical bon mot will cause people to skip surgery and go right to the stitches. It is going to slay your audience figuratively, literally, and geologically.

You are so comical it hurts.

Have you been so witty the whole time I have known you? I always took our laughs for granted. In person, you laugh at amusing things, such as me. But with the written word, you have expanded the borders of The Funny Zone. You are able to laugh, out loud, at something which is not remotely entertaining.

You are the Benjamin Franklin of comedy. The U.S. Mint should destroy all current $100 bills and replace them with ones that not only have your image on them, but your amazingly uproarious comment as well.

My only fear is that people would receive the bills and die from excessive laughter.

Have you seen that Monty Python sketch about the funniest joke ever told? Of course you have! That was probably the inspiration for your incredible remark, and you somehow managed to outdo Monty Python but not outdo them at all. That is impressive.

Thank you so much for sharing your uncanny gift with the world.

I would like to make your comment my computer’s background but I fear I will never be able to do anything productive again.

I also saved every riotous meme you have ever posted that you did not create but would have if you had the time in your busy schedule.

When you reach super-stardom, please do not forget about the little people.