Muyaht
by Rob Cottignies & Joseph McConnell, with Cosima Fallmann
In 2013, my friend Odie and I went to Europe for 2.5 weeks. I brought along a small notebook so we could
record important information and thoughts.
I now bring you what happened instead...
I now bring you what happened instead...
Buzkashi!!!! Goat
Bon Temps is a good time.
Lobsters and I don't care about the Pope.
It's okay.
Time to rape the donuts.
Dubbel
Pebble
Grendel
Chip + Dale
Snail Mail
Carlton Banks
Fidelity
Franka Potente. Good.
Oprah looks like a monk.
The chain moves. There is a reason.
Mark No Ploblem
Day 2- No Lille. More Phil. Eat Nill. Church.
Not for wimpy gays.
Blab & Beer.
Your mom looks Native American. Black hair. Calm. Your mom is Pocahontas.
Nothin' like a healthy bum.
Humbling, Humbling, Humbling. I know the Devil.
We are at a Lesbian, Gay, Trans festival.
If you're not in Bruges, you're doing things wrong.
"This is a really good beer. And really strong." Strong cheesing?
Salute!
Keep nothing- remember everything.
Jemapoly Bill.
Frauen. O, mein Kopf.
Tanks. Drive tanks. Drive them all over. Drive over everything except Belgium.
At least we're not stuck on a train in America. 'Why aren't we going? I haven't eaten in 10 minutes.'
If you have to ask what country you're in, you're doing something right.
Bobby Darin.
Bruges to Brussels (a confusing time). Brussels to Leuwen. Leuwen to Liege to Aachen to Köln to Basel to Zurich to Bern to Interlaken. MANY TRAINS
He sleeps on de train. Not on de plane.
Eggs and vegetables.
Mountain Horse.
Buttcheeks are the appeal. Not buttcracks.
Is this what young people look like now?
How many days have we been here? Wie viele Tage haben wir hier?
Everything.
I'd rather be a viking than be smooth.
I'm just me, but a judge is a judge.
Mountain goats are black guys.
That's a lot of bong-bong for 11:30.
"My friend's cat is totally hot." -Jason
'Is this train going to Best Buy?'
If the river was whiskey
And I was a duck
I'd swim to the bottom
And never come up
Interlaken to Bern to Zurich to Schaffhausen to Ulm to Munich to sleep.
Liver and snoring. Oh, Junge.
Samuel L. Chicken.
Muyaht for the ladies. Mutek for the men.
Boris the tourist.
Delicious Snacks.
Respect. We don't get into trouble.
You could go to China and struggle.
Half-price beers if you're in seventh grade.
I don't (donut) remember (Yomber) how Muyaht began (begun).
He's an astronaught with a big boner!
Well, call your lawyer.
Only certain cows.
Albanians only listen to songs with Love in the title.
It was fine, but it was no horse and cheese.
Carrot schnapps!!!!
Quality drool.
How sour is your sauerbraten? Hee-hoo! My wife likes sweetbraten. Dingly dee! Ah, I'm just messin' with you, Helmut.
Craziness and idiocy are not the same.
Do I look like Ben Affleck?
'I was only 22.'
Oh, you were a little Brussels sprout.
'I was a little Brussels sprout. Now I'm a big Brussels sprout!'
(read with heavy lisp. chhhh.)
He might not be handsome, but he's handsome. -Odie on Cos
The Social Bulimic- Not shy. Eats, barfs. Says hi to everyone. Doesn't want to not barf.
Someone took my Lumet. It's a small, fragile animal. It's a baby Lumet. The man who took my Lumet also took my wife. And I'm gonna get one back. Because you can't take care of a Lumet and a wife. And I hope my wife doesn't come back, because I really like my Lumet.
Grüß gott.
Beat the salad.
Vienna is just a small fart on the map.
You are a super trooper. La la la.
We're all monkeys. Monkeys are cool.
I can't believe it's been three months already. Time to go back to butt rock and hamburgers.
She's six wickets short of South Africa.
...And that was the first time I crapped on a train while drinking a beer in the handicap toilet.
Did that happen last night?
Yeah.
Well, for some reason I remember it happening in a bowling alley.
We didn't bowl!
Yeah, you're right.
'Wait, before we do this I just have to lick the back of your underwear and see what happens.'
New York. Ugh. The city that never sleeps. Maybe it could use a nap.
'That's how I roll!'
You should roll...off a cliff!!!
It has nothing to do with sexism. Just eat your fucking cat!
You think you look good? You look like uncooked beef!
I like my curves.
You look like the toilet!
I'm pleasantly plump.
There's nothing pleasant about you! A turkey is plump! I'd rather eat a bouillon cube than look at you!
We're in a bar, leaning on a bar, sitting at the bar, with our feet on a bar.
Fart Beach.
Hi Tim!
Wer bin ich?
ZUNGENBRECHER
Blaukraut bleibt Blaukraut
+
Brautkleid bleibt Brautkleid
OTTO
At least we're not stuck on a train in America. 'Why aren't we going? I haven't eaten in 10 minutes.'
If you have to ask what country you're in, you're doing something right.
Bobby Darin.
Bruges to Brussels (a confusing time). Brussels to Leuwen. Leuwen to Liege to Aachen to Köln to Basel to Zurich to Bern to Interlaken. MANY TRAINS
He sleeps on de train. Not on de plane.
Eggs and vegetables.
Mountain Horse.
Buttcheeks are the appeal. Not buttcracks.
Is this what young people look like now?
How many days have we been here? Wie viele Tage haben wir hier?
Everything.
I'd rather be a viking than be smooth.
I'm just me, but a judge is a judge.
Mountain goats are black guys.
That's a lot of bong-bong for 11:30.
"My friend's cat is totally hot." -Jason
'Is this train going to Best Buy?'
If the river was whiskey
And I was a duck
I'd swim to the bottom
And never come up
Interlaken to Bern to Zurich to Schaffhausen to Ulm to Munich to sleep.
Liver and snoring. Oh, Junge.
Samuel L. Chicken.
Muyaht for the ladies. Mutek for the men.
Boris the tourist.
Delicious Snacks.
Respect. We don't get into trouble.
You could go to China and struggle.
Half-price beers if you're in seventh grade.
I don't (donut) remember (Yomber) how Muyaht began (begun).
He's an astronaught with a big boner!
Well, call your lawyer.
Only certain cows.
Albanians only listen to songs with Love in the title.
It was fine, but it was no horse and cheese.
Carrot schnapps!!!!
Quality drool.
How sour is your sauerbraten? Hee-hoo! My wife likes sweetbraten. Dingly dee! Ah, I'm just messin' with you, Helmut.
Craziness and idiocy are not the same.
Do I look like Ben Affleck?
'I was only 22.'
Oh, you were a little Brussels sprout.
'I was a little Brussels sprout. Now I'm a big Brussels sprout!'
(read with heavy lisp. chhhh.)
He might not be handsome, but he's handsome. -Odie on Cos
The Social Bulimic- Not shy. Eats, barfs. Says hi to everyone. Doesn't want to not barf.
Someone took my Lumet. It's a small, fragile animal. It's a baby Lumet. The man who took my Lumet also took my wife. And I'm gonna get one back. Because you can't take care of a Lumet and a wife. And I hope my wife doesn't come back, because I really like my Lumet.
Grüß gott.
Beat the salad.
Vienna is just a small fart on the map.
You are a super trooper. La la la.
We're all monkeys. Monkeys are cool.
I can't believe it's been three months already. Time to go back to butt rock and hamburgers.
She's six wickets short of South Africa.
...And that was the first time I crapped on a train while drinking a beer in the handicap toilet.
Did that happen last night?
Yeah.
Well, for some reason I remember it happening in a bowling alley.
We didn't bowl!
Yeah, you're right.
'Wait, before we do this I just have to lick the back of your underwear and see what happens.'
New York. Ugh. The city that never sleeps. Maybe it could use a nap.
'That's how I roll!'
You should roll...off a cliff!!!
It has nothing to do with sexism. Just eat your fucking cat!
You think you look good? You look like uncooked beef!
I like my curves.
You look like the toilet!
I'm pleasantly plump.
There's nothing pleasant about you! A turkey is plump! I'd rather eat a bouillon cube than look at you!
We're in a bar, leaning on a bar, sitting at the bar, with our feet on a bar.
Fart Beach.
Hi Tim!
Wer bin ich?
ZUNGENBRECHER
Blaukraut bleibt Blaukraut
+
Brautkleid bleibt Brautkleid
OTTO
Mark No Ploblem -- typo, or hilarious?
ReplyDelete- np
Hilarious!
ReplyDelete