In March of 2016, I was fortunate enough to find myself
in the exotic land of northern Kentucky, where I happened upon the Creation
Museum in Petersburg.
Run by the Answers In Genesis Ministry, this place promotes
the idea that everything in the Bible's first book truly and actually and genuinely
happened.
An Australian named Ken Ham is the president of AiG, a
group of Young Earth Christian Creationist Apologists. (I had to look it up, too.) He founded the Creation Museum because "AiG's main thrust is on Biblical
authority. Believing in a relatively young Earth is a consequence of accepting
the word of God as an infallible revelation from our Creator." He also wants
to “proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ effectively”, which is curious since
Jesus does not appear until well after the book of Genesis.
The museum itself is very well-done: big, clean, and thorough.
It is on a large plot of land with statues of dinosaurs everywhere, because this
place loves dinosaurs. A focal point
of the museum is how the Bible mentions dinosaurs and humans co-existing even
though the book does not mention that and the two animals were separated by
tens of millions of years.
Skepticism aside, I went into this visit with an open
mind to find out how another culture experiences world.
This, for me, was certainly unfamiliar territory.
…
Before entering, make sure you really want to see the museum because the entrance fee was $40 for an adult younger than 60. Because of inflation and/or greed, the current admission charge is $56.99 before taxes.
Included with admission are a self-guided walk-through
of the museum, two short films, some of their presentations, a visit to the insectorium,
and access to the petting zoo and botanical garden. You will also get the
privilege of taking their survey afterwards.
(If these things seem completely unnecessary for a place dedicated to Biblical teaching, they are.)
Not included with admission but for nominal fees, you can enjoy short films
at the planetarium, the other presentations, camel rides at the petting zoo,
mining for gemstones, zip-lining, a free-fall ride, grub at Noah's Café,
goodies at the extensive multi-level gift shop, and/or a souvenir picture taken
as you enter (which was not offered to me).
Also, since God would want you to pay for parking,
that is another $10.
…
Upon entry, I was treated to two immediate gifts of goodness.
While paying my entrance fee, the man next to me was
asked for his zip code. Apparently from Outing, Minnesota, he uncomfortably said,
"5-6……..6……..6-2."
56662.
The zip code of the beast.
He was so hesitant to say the middle of his zip code I
thought he was going to pass out.
My second brush with luck came when the cashier told
me a presentation called Dinosaurs And The Bible was beginning in five minutes.
No way was I going to miss that!
Hosted by "former public school teacher" Bryan
Osborne, this hour-long production taught all about two dino-topics: 1) That
dinosaurs lived peacefully with early humans, and 2) That dinosaurs did not
evolve into birds or anything else because the theory of Evolution is evil and must be destroyed.
(For those interested, here is an article describing the difference between a common theory and a scientific theory.)
Within itself, his argument was surprisingly sound.
The ideas flowed together nicely and his PowerPoint images were spot-on.
However, should you dare to be inquisitive, you might look as dumb as the star of this anecdote that was shared during the presentation:
'A farmer was on the side of the road when he saw a
cow giving birth. While watching, a city
guy stopped and watched with him. The calf was halfway out. The city guy
asked the farmer how fast the calf must have been running to get stuck in the
cow like that.'
You see, the city guy was foolish because he assumed the calf had run directly into the cow’s backside-- something that, according to Osborne, lots of people would think.
Also, the host called anyone who has ever enjoyed
Jurassic Park a heathen.
…
Littered with auditory gems, this presentation had me
skipping down the hallway thirsty for more.
The first thing I saw was a sign displaying The 7 C's
In God's Eternal Plan- Creation, Corruption, Catastrophe, Confusion, Christ,
Cross, Consummation. The first four were elaborately shown and described during
the walk-through while the last three were detailed in a short video at the end
of the journey.
If space and/or money had run out, it would seem Ken
Ham was not as good of a planner as God. (Or maybe that was the point!)
…
My adventure continued with two mannequin
archaeologists arguing over the age of an uncovered fossil.
One said millions of years while the other argued just
thousands, dating the dinosaur (I told you this place loves dinosaurs)
back to the time of the Great Flood. A video playing next to this diorama showed
an actor portraying the first guy recanting his initial idea and accepting the
finding of the actor playing the other guy. (I was confused too.)
A series of signs pitting Creationism against Science
eventually led to a horrifying display of our current world, which is in ruins.
Through pictures, videos, and loud noises, I saw that sin is everywhere.
Graffiti covered the walls, pictures showed mostly non-white people holding
guns, and all sorts of abortions were happening. Homosexuals in love were
getting married and people in terminal pain were ending their lives with dignity.
Human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria!!!
The mannequin of a teen-aged boy even smoked a
marijuana cigarette while playing video games and searching the internet for
pornography. I can barely do one of those things at a time so this kid clearly
must have sold his soul for some evil, magical power.
This Corridor Of Despair (actual name) ended with a
walk through the Time Tunnel, a small hallway which was completely dark except
for some faint lights in the ceiling.
What? But why? This place was no fan of such questions.
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The Garden Of Eden diorama was quite vast. There were
several depictions of Adam and Eve doing everyday tasks like picking berries
and hanging out with dinosaurs. Everything was peaceful in an awkwardly perfect
way. It reminded me of Toon Town, only it wasn't the greatest thing ever.
The dinosaurs were mostly raptor-like, which was odd since
seeing Jurassic Park had already been condemned.
Other animals in the garden included giraffes, bears,
and penguins. Yes, together. Just as it is now, climate change was imaginary in
the Garden Of Eden, so all these animals could easily live together in one
ecosystem.
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The biggest surprise of my visit was not how often Darwin’s
scientific theory of Evolution was “discredited”, but how something called
“quick evolution” was very real. According to that non-scientific theory, God
created one "kind" of each animal, which led to diversity such as domesticated
dogs, wolves, coyotes, and hyenas.
What was odd about the diorama was that the “ancient” animals
looked strikingly similar to their current forms, except the wooly mammoth,
whose current form is less-wooly and more-skeletal.
…
When this visit happened, I was admittedly ignorant to the idea that the Garden Of Eden was intended to be a
perfect Paradise, free from death and disease and gay marriage, with all living
things being vegetarians because plants are not living things.
This utopia was shattered when a talking reptile
convinced Adam and Eve to eat fruit from the one forbidden tree in the entire garden, which led to all the
horrible things I listed earlier. Plus, this is apparently why childbirth can
be so excruciating.
(For a fun exercise, ponder why God was able
to create Adam without any base tools but needed one of his bones to make Eve.)
The exhibit about Noah and the Great Flood was the
most in-depth. It even featured an animatronic Noah who answered all my
questions that the museum had already programmed for me. There was also a
really-real-life-sized part of the Ark and a piece stating that Noah and his
small family could certainly have built the multi-level city-sized Ark by
themselves, though they were wealthy so they may have convinced others to help
them.
That version of Noah was kind of a dick, huh?
'Hey, a huge flood will soon eliminate all life except
for what I bring on an enormous boat. If you help us build it, I will not let
you on the ship but I will give you a bunch of money which will be worth
nothing because the planet will be covered in water. So yeah, want to help?'
Trickery and bribery seem sinful to me, but I would
accept this idea over Darren Aronofsky's weird rock monsters.
For those of you thirsty for as much Noah as possible,
The Ark Encounter was completed using taxpayer money in Williamstown,
conveniently located 45 minutes from the Creation Museum. The building is a
full replica of the Ark as Noah built it, complete with cubits and
everything.
A combination a ticket to both places can save you almost four dollars, excluding tax
and parking, of course.
…
If my words have not been descriptive enough for you,
here is a string of images from the Creation Museum. I realize I did not take
nearly enough pictures but you can see more for yourself if you visit…
What troubled me most about the Creation Museum was not its message or beliefs but how it specifically contrasted Science at every opportunity.
Similar museums about a culture's history
present their beliefs without arguing against others. 'Our ancestors thought the Sun was a
god and all animals were born from trees.'
Great! Thanks for sharing!
But Answers In Genesis has made such effort to
discredit Evolutionary thinking that they really seemed to be grasping at
straws out of insecurity. I have no problem with anyone's belief system but to baselessly
present it as factual while attacking just one other method seems
wrong.
And why only attack Science? The Vikings believed a
massive collision of fire and ice created the world. Hindus believe their three
gods have always created, maintained, and destroyed the Universe in repetitive
cycles. The Hopi believe one Creator made nine Universes and a Spider Woman
created all life with her saliva.
I assume AiG would have problems with these beliefs as
well but they were not explicitly attacked in the Creation Museum.
(One could argue that these belief systems are not
commonly taught in American schools (which is a shame) but Evolution is.)
The critical truth is nobody knows how something came from nothing. I have (mostly) stopped trying to figure it out but I enjoy learning about what different groups of people think happened. Believe what you want but stop short of forcing it on others.
If you choose to, as people have been doing for a very long time, it can only lead to the ultimate C…
