Women Should Invent A Sport
by
Rob Cottignies
The graphic above
compares and contrasts the careers of professional basketball players Sue Bird
and LeBron James.
Their years played and
championships won are exactly the same yet the salary each player earned during
2020 differs drastically- $215,000 for Bird and $37,440,000 for James.
(LeBron’s total salary may have been even higher but I will use the given number for comparison.)
For some math, Sue made less
than one percent (~ 0.6%) of LeBron’s total.
In fact, Bird and six other
players (all the WNBA’s highest-paid athletes) each earned $215,000, totaling
$1,505,000, which is slightly over 4% of LeBron’s salary.
(Note that the amounts
are what the players made directly from their organizations and does not
include endorsement deals or anything like that. Many WNBA players earn extra- and often more- playing in foreign leagues during the off-season.)
To put these numbers into
perspective, counting one number per second to 215,000 without stopping would
take a bit less than 60 hours (2.5 days). To contrast, counting to 37,440,000
would take over one year and two months.
There are many factors to
consider in this situation, including the idea that many people would be
perfectly happy earning $215,000 per year and that if an athlete truly loves
his or her sport, the amount of money made should not matter.
But it does matter.
The point of this article
is not to analyze societal inequality and gender disparity but to suggest an
alternative that could shift things toward a more balanced civilization.
…
Male-dominated sports
bring in an obscene amount of money to their organizations, advertisers,
apparel companies, and whoever else is involved. Female sports get plenty of
attention but not even a noticeable fraction of that money, as demonstrated by
Sue and LeBron above.
To use another sport as
an example, men’s finals in major tennis tournaments are always the last to be
featured, getting the best television time. Tennis, along with basketball and
pretty much every other professional sport, gives men a majority of the
attention.
(A financial comparison with
WNBA players would be unfair since much of tennis stars’ earnings come from endorsements and other outside ventures. Even within that system, men
generally make more, though women’s earnings are considerably higher than in
the WNBA.)
Some argue that women
should be paid equally yet opponents stipulate they should play equally. (Currently,
men play best-of-5 matches while women play best-of-3.)
There have been many
great female players throughout the history of tennis, but do they get the same
recognition as their male counterparts? In most cases, no.
This could largely be due
to women's sports being seen as “alternate” versions of sports that have traditionally
been dominated by men. The WNBA, softball, that weird lingerie football thing,
and even soccer mostly follow the rules of their masculine equivalents. The
only obvious difference is that women play them.
(That may have sounded
degrading but alternative versions of established sports have never fared well.
Just ask the XFL.)
…
A new sport specifically
designed for women might begin to change things.
It should not forbid men
to play (as major sports do not strictly bar women) but highlight female-friendly
attributes.
For example, women typically
have less height and more flexibility than men, so cater to those assets.
If the average female
height is 5’4” and male height 5’9”, incorporate a ceiling around the 5’6”
mark. This specific aspect would exclude many (but not all) men while being
inclusive of many (but not all) women.
(I have no idea how an
audience would be able to watch a sport with a low ceiling but somebody else
can solve such problems.)
Women also tend to have a
lower center of gravity, helping them dominate sports such as roller derby and gymnastics, which also focuses on natural gracefulness.
Another sport mostly
played in America by women is field hockey, though men more commonly play it worldwide.
In 1901, an Englishwoman
named Constance Applebee came to study at Harvard and brought the idea of field
hockey with her. Her female classmates quickly took to the sport since women’s
exercise was typically limited to slow activities such as croquet and golf.
Applebee continued to
promote field hockey and change the look of women’s athletics for almost 80
years, dying aged 107.
Related fact- When women began regularly playing basketball, many “men’s”
rules were deemed too rough for them, so the sport was modified to prevent over-exertion.
One change involved players having to stay within assigned zones on the court
to avoid running its full length.
Also, there is an
International Women’s Sports Hall of Fame. Founded in 1980, it was first
located on Long Island in New York, then moved to Manhattan’s Sports Museum of
America until that closed in 2009. The archives have since gone to Sarasota,
Florida, where the Women’s Sports Museum will soon open for a three-year “preview”,
hopefully leading to permanent residence.
If you plan on having at
least an extra $15,000 for the next three years, go here to become a sponsor.
…
Taking a break from serious
content, it is high time for some silliness…
How does one invent a
sport?
Having no idea how to
invent a sport is a great start.
Next, find a website to guide
the process. Ideally, the site will pluralize basic words with a ‘z’ instead of
an ‘s’, showing it is worthy of citation.
Lastly, let the ideas
flow.
…
STEP ONE – The Basics
According to Kidz World,
the first step is deciding the new sport’s basics- where it will be played, if
accuracy or speed is the focus, and whether individuals or teams will be
involved.
Based on the
previously-mentioned criteria (shorter height, gracefulness, flexibility, low
center of gravity), this new sport will be played in a labyrinth with a 5’6”
ceiling, speed will be important, and teams will play it since that is usually
more fun for everybody involved.
STEP TWO – Pick A Name
Giving the sport the best
name possible will skyrocket it to fame. In this case, that name is Giffyblap.
STEP THREE – Design The
Playing Surface
Imagine a hedgemaze
created by M. C. Escher. The maze would be outlined by trimmed bushes and the
low ceiling would make many players squat down to carry things.
STEP FOUR – Rules
Developing this would
become tedious so the three main rules are: 1) First team to kick a rubber
pyramid into a hole wins, 2) Dancing like a swan is not only allowed but encouraged,
3) One point is scored each time a player does a full split to obstruct an
opponent.
STEP FIVE – Equipment
Rubber pyramid, hidden
swan costumes, durable socks, and, of course, face protection.
STEP SIX – Play The New
Sport
Gather some ladies, put
all this information together, and have some fun trying out Giffyblap!
…
Of course, Giffyblap is a
very silly and impractical idea. But it demonstrates how potentially simple inventing
a new sport could be. In the appropriate hands (clearly not this author’s), one
just might come along that would sweep the globe with popularity, finally giving
women prominence on the worldwide sports stage.
Just be sure wealthy men
can make money from the new sport. This might sound counterproductive but it
must be part of the plan, since nothing has gotten done for a very long time that
did not involve wealthy men getting richer.
That system should be
changed as well but attaining gender equality would surprisingly be easier
somehow.
Not to worry- If the
sport even hints at catching on, wealthy men will come running.
…
Or, just get rid of
sports. Gladiator days are over.
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