Admit That Your Belief Is A 'Maybe'

Admit That Your Belief Is A 'Maybe'
by Rob Cottignies

How much better could humanity be if people admitted religion might not be true?

This largely-unanswerable question is worth considering since much destruction throughout history could have been avoided with a mild amount of healthy doubt.

Believe in a god or gods, creatures with multiple appendages, the flying spaghetti monster, or whatever else but stop pretending it is definitive. Beliefs like these are not necessarily untrue, but a reasonable compromise would be calling them 'maybes'.

When there is no proof, certainty is impossible. It just works that way. You might believe you have proof, but you do not.

Simultaneously, keep in mind the adage, ‘Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence’.

…

Religion made sense in ancient times:

'What is that thing in the sky? It gives warmth, makes crops grow, and provides more light than that other thing in the sky. It does lots of good for us so we should worship it and try not to make it angry.'
'Good idea. How could we do that?'
'Make up stories and sacrifice people.'
'Wait, what?'

There are countless historical times when groups of people with certain beliefs have been persecuted by groups of people with differing beliefs. Some major examples include various Holocausts (not just the Nazi one), Rwandan genocide, the Inquisition (the Spanish version and others), witch (and werewolf) trials all over the world, the "civil" war in Syria, etc.

These atrocities and many more have resulted in millions of deaths.

And for what? Neither side was proven correct because there was no certainty to begin with.

…

Many of us have heard about Muslim martyrs (suicide bombers) who sacrifice themselves (while murdering many others) in the name of Allah. We have also heard about the 72 virgins they will receive in the afterlife by doing this.

The Qur’an (Muslim holy book) never actually gives a number and they are not really virgins but wives devoted to (male) pleasure.

Or there are virgins available to any (male) Muslim.

Or there are no afterlife-women involved but only divine food and drink.

Or the afterlife is much different from any of these.

Or there is no afterlife.

These thoughts are debated by skeptics and believers alike.

So, which is correct? Any of them might be, and that is my point.

…

In 2015, the French magazine Charlie Hebdo (which satirizes everyone) came under gunfire after publishing cartoons criticizing Islam. The issues in question also featured depictions of the prophet Muhammad, which is illegal blasphemy in countries that observe Sharia law, which base their government around the Qur’an. (The parts and interpretations which serve their needs, anyway.)

It should be noted that France is not a Sharia law country.

Had the extremists stepped back and said something like ‘Maybe a cartoon is not really a big deal so we should go get some sandwiches instead’, this could have been avoided. But because that seemingly-impossible notion did not happen, 23 people were killed and injured, including police officers and a maintenance worker who had nothing to do with the cartoon.

To be fair, the magazine had been warned several times by radicals who foretold something bad happening if they continued to mock their religion.

Since all factors must be considered, the assailants honestly thought their actions were not only justified but necessary.

Cases like this are rare and extreme but occur often enough to mar overall societal progress.

If mass murder does not bother you but a cartoon or comedian does, your priorities should be adjusted.

…

(Those two examples were not meant to single out Islam. Atrocities have come from many places.)

…

How did the universe come to exist? Nobody knows for sure but here are some creation stories:

Science advocates the Big Bang, the scientific theory that everything was condensed into a small spot around 13.8 billion years ago then got so heated it exploded and has been expanding ever since.

Is the Big Bang Theory a fact? No. Is it correct? Maybe.

In general, people who follow the Bible believe God took six days to create everything less than 10,000 years ago.

Is the Bible a flawless book of facts? No. Did God truly make stars, planets, plants, animals, sandwiches, and everything else humans know about? Maybe.

According to Hinduism, three gods (Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva) have created, maintained, and destroyed the universe in a cycle which has always existed and will last forever.

Are those three gods responsible for keeping all of creation in check? Maybe.

Flat-Earthers sort of believe in Biblical creation and think Earth is a flat disk surrounded by a gigantic wall of ice with a domed ceiling over everything.

Should their beliefs be considered true? No. Every experiment they have done has proven nothing at all or their own theory as false.

Still, they should admit their belief is a ‘maybe’ instead of promoting is as factual.

There are many other creation stories from various belief systems but that small sample should suffice to prove my point.

…

In our society, we hear about bad things way more often than good ones, but there are some pretty bad 'bads' regarding religious history. If ‘maybe’ and ‘eating sandwiches instead’ had occurred to the persecutors, perhaps those events would not have happened.

Or, possibly, they were inevitable and would have come about in a different way.

If any of this has caused anger, step back and consider why. If you would rather not reflect on your beliefs, I invite you to get over it and read something else.

What I am suggesting is to question what you believe, if only to confirm your belief. If you are going to have faith, make it count.

…

I believe all beliefs are nonsense, including my belief that all beliefs are nonsense.

You might think part or all of that idea is nonsense. And you know what? That is fine! I will not try to change your mind nor harm you because of it, the same way I would expect you to not do so to me.

I am aware that my last sentence was similar to the "golden rule" of many religions, and, if nothing else, my use of it is an example that people should respect other people's beliefs.

 

 

Thanks to these sources for aiding my research:
Google.com, lockhaven.edu, bbc.co.uk, Behind The Curve (documentary)

Yes, Worries

Yes, Worries

by Rob Cottignies

Dear Guy Who Went Out Of His Way To Hold A Door For Me Even Though I Showed No Signs Of Not Being Able To Open The Door Myself:

Firstly, in the name of simplicity, I shall refer to you as Duckfart because I have no idea what your stupid name actually is.

Dearest Duckfart:

In case you do not remember our brief encounter this morning, I was about 15 feet from a doorway I had to enter when some girl came flying out because her hand was holding a leash attached to a large, running dog.

This made me think of how annoying it is when people say, 'Are you walking your dog or is your dog walking you LOLOLOLOLzzz!!!!!11’, so I was furious before even seeing you.

Then you appeared, Duckfart.

Instead of trying to help your friend who was being doghandled, you ran around the door to hold it open as if I was royalty.

As I walked past you to enter the building, you said something peculiar- "No worries, bro."

Being a trendosaurus maximus (as the kids say), I knew your statement stood in place of "You're welcome", which is also a strange phrase that I will get to a bit later.

Curiously, you said that without being thanked. Regardless of my plan to feign gratitude or not, you boldly assumed I was not just grateful but indebted to your poor excuse for generosity.

Essential to say, I was fuming mad by the time I walked through the doorway and here is my list of reasons why:

1) You are one of the rudest people I have ever encountered, Duckfart. Holding a door open when somebody is right there should obligatorily be done, but stopping your travel to whirl around in dramatic fashion to hold a door for somebody whose arms are not full is inexcusable. You are not a hero. You are an obnoxious, attention-seeking loser whose only hope for redemption is to train your dog to hold doors for strangers because that would be interesting.

2) Did you really think I was worried? I was absurdly confident in my ability to open that door and enter the building. And was I supposed to be concerned that you would break your stupid shoulder or something while holding the door for me? Nothing about our encounter worried me until after, when I was screaming internally.

3) Do you think you are Australian, Duckfart? Because you are not. You had no criminal accent and Australian rugby players would probably beat you mercilessly simply for wearing that fitted blazer which your grandmother likely said you look 'darling' in.

In case you are wondering why I am blathering about Australia, “No worries” is a phrase with roots to that lovely country.

And if you thought I was worried, you completely skipped over the last section of this writing. Please backtrack.

4) If you meant "You're welcome", you chose another dumb saying with no real connection to this letter but now I am focused on it and will not turn back.

I am welcome? WHERE!? Are you a store manager? Did you invite me over for snacks?? Can I come aboard your stupid sailboat??? If any of those garnered a yes, "You're welcome" would have been wildly appropriate. Other than that, get over yourself.

5) Bro. Do not call me that. Do not call anyone that.

6) I hate your scarf.

7) What is your dog's name?

(Realizing this argument- which made no sense to begin with- is getting weaker with each numbered point, I have decided to end this letter.)

With all of that said, I must congratulate and thank you, Duckfart. It has been a surprisingly long time since I have achieved such a multi-layered level of philosophical anger. Your simple "nice" gesture of holding a door open has unleashed the aggression of a thousand papercuts.

You are so terrible that it can only be described as Bieberian. Justin Bieberian. I do not understand why people hate him but I know they do and that helps me out here.

As people hate Justin Bieber, I brutally hate you, Duckfart. I hate your chivalry and your blazer. I hate your friend and your grandmother. I almost hate Australia because of you, but I know they had very little if anything to do with this.

I have been trying to wish less death and destruction upon people lately, so I will close with this- I hope you poop in your pants at a horribly inconvenient time, such as at a wake or Thanksgiving dinner.

Yours in unreasonable disdain,
-Rob

PS-- If you can make trendosaurus maximus an actual thing, I will denounce most of my previously-mentioned hatred toward you.