Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Ooyaht

A travel tradition has come about. The key is to bring a small notebook with you when traveling with friends to record the nonsense you say. Don't write down who says what or what it means. Let the words speak for themselves.
Previous installments have been Muhayt and Neuyaht.
Now I present...

Ooyaht
by Rob Cottignies, Joseph McConnell, and Lindsay Something with special appearances by Leanne Folusiak
Illustrations by Joseph McConnell


That's probably the end of her butt.

It's the estrogen, man. Chicks- they're just not guys.

Oh, polenta, don't do this to me now.

What would a pterodactyl do?

Bitches love getting married.

Honkey Mkonkey.

I'm violently hungry right now. I'm going to beat a cow to death and eat it.

Whatever. Tomorrow is today so it'll be fine.

You're a maniac.
I know! It's good!

What's this weird chin!?!

Sometimes you eat soup, sometimes you boil alive. What are ya gonna do?

I'm looking forward to a nice dry dinner.

It's the only station here- Sheep Radio.

Buttman is back, Jack.

This would be a great place for flying grandmas.

There's normal rock and then there's paprika mountains.

We're in a cloud. You guys, we're the Care Bears!

Secret gay mountain sheep party.

He's terrifying. That animal must be a Satanic being.

I think he wants us to remove the pine tree from his butt.

It was nice to eat dinner.


It's a jar! hm ha hmm hmm he hm haa (creepy lady laugh)

With rivers coming out of her hair... hair rivers.

Oh boy, here we are. Butt-sex and sheep the entire trip.

Naked Russian waterfall bitches doing a photoshoot with Japanese guys playing ping pong.

Give him ten more years and he'll be a turtle.

Twenty minutes have been taken off the butt-sex clock.
Great news for my butthole!

A canoe for moths. Ten-moth canoe.

They always go for the face. Why don't they go for the knees?

Oh, it's a famous grill?

There are never too many crevices. A butt-crack is my favorite crevice.

Fishy breath!

Learn to eat rocks and you'll have food forever.

Either it's a girl or it's a normal person.

It's thin and stupid and the top is big. I hate it.

Let's go to the chicken area.

Someone else's bread.

Is she Geoffrey or Speedy Gonzalez?


Just speak in Portuguese because it sounds like Japanese and Japanese is good because Japan is in Asia.

They had a whole foot section.

It's not bread. It's fish.

Truth or Dale?

The butt train left the station.

Half these quotes are going to be about butts. And they're all from you. Ooyaht turned into Buttyaht.

We could go bowling at home but we won't.

Red should be "give" because it's like a period. You're giving red to the world.


Tina Turner- making dreams come true.

He was not a ravioli. He was a fettuccine.

I need a motorcycle and a bowl of Jell-O.

What's so good about puddle water?

Do you have a wet wipe? I have bologna fingers.

No seal left behind.

Octopi and sheep- very strange cousins.

Houses, a church, a car, father and son. Hvammstangi.

What the hell does that have to do with Giovanni Ribisi???

Crazy cumplant. Your first son, cumplant.

It's the little things in life. Nice heavy boils.

That frost isn't straight, it's bi. This is the 21st century, mom. It's cooler to be bi than straight.

It wasn't a UFO. It was boobs in the sky.

Those tires are so long and hard. They just keep going.

Red Stuff Lake.

You should like that smell. Great gas mileage.

Oh, we're back in jiggly boom boom world.

You have your clothes and I have shooting cans.

This conversation has turned into a wine glass.

Fashion... jeans, T-shirts. If you're cold, put on a sweater. Go do something.

My intuition tells me to take the mustard.

Are the cannons actually fossilized dinosaur buttholes?

Ah, shoe pork.

Another old moth shows up.

Peeing Roulette.

Goat cheese, milk, and screaming.


That's what they do in weird Satanic cults. They make them play in crap!

The smoke army will get us.


David Beckham is a buttbag.
No, he's a boner.
Yes, he's a boner.

Acorns and an accordion- that's what he likes.

Where's Gilbert?
Oh, he's buying a crazy hat.

OK, you two guys are done standing. Now you two go.

She looked like her chin was trying to eat her neck. She looked like an angry potato.

A waterfall of neckfat.

I gotta poop again. It's a two-poop day. It might be a three-poop day. It was a four-poop day.

The colon is a vortex to other worlds and alternate dimensions. Welcome to the Butt Zone.

I thought I was in an action movie.

And then there were two. Farewell, Smokey Jones...

I never thought I'd pluck eyebrows while drinking wine in a public Hungarian laundromat.

Black people Santa Claus.

This is the magic number for Ooyaht.

Ah, I thought you said Lip Tower.

Mars is the G-spot of the Milky Way.

Two blue moons don't make a red tongue.

I don't want to sound racist. Poor little baby Indians.

They look three times before spending a penny. This is not good.

You're the same as Monsanto!!! Just with jizz instead of GMOs.

We saw loons on the water. We walked over old horse crap. What a magical evening.

Es a vadi boo. Badinga bee gada. Don't hate the player; hate the game. Ga dinga be doo daa ingsa ver don inga ming kala bonga.

He's an old slidey fat guy. Who's he still playing with!?!

What language is he speaking? It's like a Dutch guy banged a Danish girl and a handicapped monster.

Australian men in their twenties is the worst species on the planet.

Take his enthusiasm and make it Asian.

I don't have your nose.

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