Shut
Up About Your Dreams
by Rob Cottignies
Can you name something
more excruciating than listening to a dream described in detail?
You cannot because that
entity does not exist. Nothing is more boring than hearing about someone’s
dream.
(A great side discussion
is if nothing is actually a thing.)
Dreams are interesting
phenomena which scientists are only beginning to understand. They are little
movies which only the dreamer can experience while asleep.
And everybody does it,
whether they remember the dreams or not.
The August 2018 issue of
National Geographic featured an article which said dreaming is the equivalent
of hallucinating and/or going temporarily insane. You are visualizing something
that is not actually happening.
Maybe it is a good thing
most people forget over 90% of their dreams.
(For an interesting
tidbit: Blind people dream as well. Seems like masochism to me.)
Information is great, but
what's not great is hearing someone you used to respect talk about the
"crazy" dream they had last night: You were there. So was your
sister. And Martha Stewart. You were all skiing. Martha crashed halfway down
the mountain. At the bottom, Santa Claus brought you chamomile tea. And he was
Chinese.
BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL
MEAN!?!?!?
Nothing. Zero. Zilch.
Nada. Nichts. Nihil. Ekkert. Not anything.
For a long time, people
have made others believe their dreams have real-life meaning. Sure, dreams may
reflect something, show a possible scenario, or forebode a situation you are
already dreading, but they do not mean anything more than what is being shown.
In fact, one theory
suggests dreams are memories randomly thrown together by our brains. Humans are
naturally curious and sometimes desperate to understand things, so perhaps we
reconstruct dreams when we wake up and put them in order in an attempt to gain
some kind of control.
Dreams are the ultimate
"Had to be there" stories. While I cannot accurately call them uninteresting
to everyone, they certainly make me yawn since nobody was there, not even the
dreamer!
(Side note- Yawning is
simply taking a large breath. When our bodies get tired, they need more oxygen
to function, hence the yawn. And no, they are not scientifically contagious.)
To close, if you cannot
sum up your dream in a single sentence, shut up about it.
'I had a dream that I
checked my e-mail even though my computer was on fire.' Great little anecdote
and just as pointless as a long dream story.
If this has not convinced
you to shut up about your dreams, try this compromise-- Talk about your dreams
as if they actually happened. You will earn some strange looks and will be a
more interesting person because of it.
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