Let’s Go Cruisin’!!! (Or Not)
by Rob Cottignies
by Rob Cottignies
Cruising as it was known
may not be a thing right now (or ever again), but here’s this…
In February of 2018, I
finally embarked on [70,000 Tons Of Metal], a short cruise which featured 61 bands
from varying genres of heavy metal.
That might sound like a
complete disaster but it was quite the opposite. It was even better than predicted,
and I'd already thought it would be great! I'd love to write all about it but
that's not the point of this article. (If you'd like to discuss it, just [let
me know!])
My only other cruising
experience was a 15-day journey from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to Los Angeles
through the Panama Canal. Quite obviously, the clientele on the two cruises
differed greatly.
Aboard the 70,000 Tons ship,
I spoke with several crew members about their experiences with a heavy metal
cruise versus a "regular" one. I expected them to be annoyed and
maybe even a little frightened of so many people dressed in black zombie-ing
all over the place.
But they loved it.
Maybe
heavy metal wasn't their thing but they appreciated the vacationers because they differed from people on
other cruises, who can often be obnoxious and demanding. The workers acted more
casually and some even joined in the heavy metal conga lines. (Yep, that's a
thing.)
Some people consider
going on a cruise to be traveling. I disagree. It's a vacation, for sure. A
week away from everything, relaxing by a pool, seeing some cool stuff- great!
But it's not travel. You're on a large boat for most of the trip, eating on it
every day and sleeping on it every night. (Feel free to refer to [my article on
defining travel].)
You can experience some
great things on cruises but I find them to be largely for folks who want to be
pampered and spend two hours somewhere simply to check it off their bucket lists. To me, a cruise ship is
kind of like Indianapolis- large enough to explore for a bit but you'll get
bored quickly.
To the Panama Canal
cruise's credit, I did get to experience some wonderful things, such as watching
the canal in operation, Costa Rica's Poás Volcano, and feeling small while
seeing nothing but water in every direction.
But back to heavy metal-
that cruise was awesome. Everybody was there simply to have a great time. There
were pirate costumes, inflatable ducks, and a guy dressed as a chicken in the
main hot tub. Some band members wandered around the ship too- interacting with
fans, catching other bands' shows, and even eating as if they were regular
normal everyday humans.
My favorite thing to say
since I came back is "Cannibal Corpse and I watched the Super Bowl in the
same room." Never thought I'd ever get to say anything like that.
(Corpsegrinder is a Broncos fan, by the way.)
Cruise if you want but
don't expect to have an incredible
experience. And don't expect me to think you've been to Aruba because you
snorkeled there for an hour like I did.
If you're going to
cruise, why not see a bunch of bands that you like while aboard? Heavy metal
isn't the only genre of music that's getting into the cruise business.
I’ve heard wonderful
things about river cruises so if and when they happen again, perhaps I’ll see
you on one.
Questions
If you've ever cruised,
how was your overall experience?
Do you consider cruising
to be the same as traveling?
Would you ever cruise
with 3,000 metalheads plus a bunch of bands and promoters?
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