For The Girls With Black Hair

 

For The Girls With Black Hair

 I see her walking to the door
but I dare not open it
I will make her knock
she does- three times
"let. me. in."
I do, and she repeats herself
what goes on in my head?
bad memories of good times
she looks prettier in the reflection
one cannot hide behind glass
eventually it shatters
and one of us will get hurt
her eyes pierce through me
her silence deafens me
I should not speak but I do
I always do
life is killing me
I am sick with this
I want her to do it for me
run blood-soaked hands through short black hair
and look at me with blurry vision
eyes filled with tears
her heart is heavy with emptiness
as she collapses on the floor
I look at her still body
and contemplate my next move
if I help her up she'll thank me
if I make her remember she'll love me
but if I kiss her would she kiss me back?
most people in my position would take advantage
I've never been like that
I know how it feels to be lying helpless
on a cold floor surrounded by broken glass
I will leave her there
so she can wake up and think to herself
"isn't something missing?"
she'll try to miss me but find she can't
what she doesn't know won't kill her
what she doesn't know
is that I was never there...